How to organise a wake

When arranging a funeral for a loved one, you should also take the time to consider whether you would like to hold a gathering after the funeral proceedings. A wake is a chance for friends and family of the deceased to get together and celebrate the life of the person who has died. There may be a reason why some people cannot attend the funeral service, therefore a wake may offer them the chance to say their goodbyes.

Organising a wake may seem like a daunting task when also trying to arrange a funeral in the throes of grief, which is why we are here to help. Keep reading as we break down the relevant information you need surrounding what goes into organising a wake to celebrate a loved one.

How do you arrange a wake? 

If you wish to organise a wake following the funeral ceremony, our colleagues can help advise on the necessary steps to take. A wake can be a comforting experience for those left behind and gives us the ideal opportunity to remember the deceased, but planning one alongside a funeral can be a lot to take on. Remember that wakes can be as extravagant or as simple as you’d like, there are just a few simple steps that are necessary in arranging a wake, and the rest can be determined by you.

The first step in arranging a wake is to consider who you are going to invite. You may choose to keep the wake small and invite only close friends and family, or you may choose to open the event up to other acquaintances or relatives, so everyone has a chance to mourn together. Once you have an approximate number of how many people will be in attendance, you can then decide on the venue. A wake can be held anywhere, whether you choose to keep it small and hold it at home or in a larger event space like a local village hall, pub or hotel, it’s up to you.

After the venue has been chosen, it’s now time to consider what catering options you may need. Some venues will include catering in the hire price, or you can choose to cater the wake yourself or hire a professional to do so. Once you have all of your affairs in order, it’s time to share the details of the wake with those attending so that once the funeral ceremony has finished, everyone knows where to head next. The location of the wake may be added to the order of service handed out at the funeral.

How much does a wake cost?

The price of a wake can vary depending on the location you choose to hold it at and how many people are in attendance. Some may choose to rent a local venue near the funeral ceremony or at an establishment that has sentimental value to the deceased. If you are hiring a local venue for a wake you must consider the cost of not only the space but the catering cost too.

In some cases, if the cost is something you would like to keep low, you have the option to hold the wake at home. Having a small get-together at home is not only a cheaper option, but it can also be more personal and may make loved ones feel more comforted when processing the loss. 

It’s really up to you how you choose to spend your money when it comes to the wake. We would recommend prioritising whichever part of the day you feel is the most important and budgeting for that first. So, whether you choose to have a simple funeral so you can spend more on the wake, or spend more on the funeral and have a smaller wake at home, you can limit anxiety around expenses.

Is the wake included in funeral costs?

No, wakes are not typically included in the overall funeral directors costs. This means that you will need to take the cost of the wake venue and catering into consideration when arranging a funeral. Our funeral directors here at Heart of England Co-op Funerals are to help advise you with any information you may need surrounding finding a venue for your wake and the approximate costs you can expect.

What should be included in a wake?

A wake should be a comforting experience for all those wanting to gather after the funeral to remember someone who’s passed away. Planning a wake alongside arranging a funeral can be a lot to take on at once, but it’s important to try to keep in mind when you’re organising a wake that it can be as big or as simple as you like. There are a few key things to focus on when knowing what to include in a wake, all of which we’ve detailed below.

Choose a venue 

When choosing a venue for the wake you must consider how many people you are going to invite, whether you’re having a small private gathering of family or a larger gathering with friends of your passed loved one – the number of guests you decide to have will determine the appropriate venue. 

If you’re expecting a lot of people to attend the wake, hiring a local venue will be the best course of action. There are many options when it comes to choosing the right venue which includes pubs, hotels, restaurants, community centres, places of worship and more.

Arrange food and drinks

The wake is a chance for family and friends to gather together and remember the life of your loved one and enjoy sharing stories over refreshments after the funeral ceremony. This will include organising a professional caterer to provide food and drinks for the guests, alternatively, some venues may provide a catering service included in the hire price. 

If you choose to have the wake at home, you can keep things simple by offering a spread of homemade food and drinks or asking family and friends to bring a dish along with them. However, if it doesn’t fit into your budget, providing food and drinks is not a necessity.

Pick items to commemorate your loved one

When planning the wake you may wish to put together something that commemorates the person who has passed, so that the guests can pay their respects and reminisce on good memories. This may take any form, but ultimately, it is a display to show that your loved one will not be forgotten. Some things you could put together to celebrate their life include:

• A display of photos of the person with their family and friends  
• A book for guests to write down their favourite memory of the person 
• Creating a playlist of the person’s favourite music to be played in the background
• Having their favourite flowers, food or drinks available
• Making a montage of photos that can be played on a screen at the venue  
• Or simply sit down and talk to others at the wake about fond memories.

Remember that organising a wake is a very personal thing, so it’s up to you as the family to decide which idea suits your plans best. If you’d like to create a display but you’re not sure where to start, ask for ideas from other family members, they may be able to help you come up with something that suitably celebrates your loved one’s life.

Arrange a wake with the help of Heart of England Co-op Funerals

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with organising a wake alongside making funeral plans, remember that you are not alone and our funeral arrangers and directors are here to help. We understand that this is an emotional time and are here to lend a helping hand in whatever way we can. Do not hesitate to contact us for advice on any matter of funeral or wake arrangements.