Guide to traditional funerals

The way we process our grief and mourn those we have lost will continue to change and evolve, as it has since the first evidence of funerals over 300,000 years ago. However, despite funeral customs constantly changing, many old traditions remain in modern-day end-of-life celebrations. Here at Heart of England Co-op Funerals, we have been organising funerals for many years and have seen a lot of customary changes to the way those we have lost are celebrated and remembered, yet we also see many elements that are deeply rooted in tradition.

Keep reading as we delve into these traditional funeral ceremonies so that you can understand what to expect when attending a traditional funeral and the meaning behind the funeral’s long-standing customs.

What are the steps of a traditional funeral?

Not knowing what happens at a funeral can make attending or arranging a service overwhelming. Each funeral is unique, depending on religion and the deceased’s wishes for their end-of-life ceremony, therefore the steps of each funeral may vary. However, traditionally, the steps of a funeral in the UK are as follows:

1. Funeral procession. The funeral procession traditionally begins at the home of the person who has passed, this is where your funeral director will arrive to ensure all floral tributes and order of service are correct before the ceremony. Any friends and family who wish to travel in the funeral procession in an arranged car or limousine should arrive at the home at this time. From here the funeral director will lead the procession on foot for a short way before getting into the hearse and loved ones will follow behind in a car to the funeral.
2. Arriving at the crematorium or church. Upon arrival at the chosen funeral location, the funeral director will again lead the procession on foot into the crematorium or church. From here the chosen pallbearers will carry the coffin from the hearse into the service location and place it upon a platform known as a ‘catafalque’. Once all of the mourners have arrived the ceremony will begin.
3. Funeral ceremony. Each funeral ceremony is different, the order in which each part takes place is down to the wishes of the family or deceased if previously decided upon. The service will usually include hymns, poems, music and prayers, as well as readings from friends and family. Once the service has finished, mourners will either leave to go on to the service location for the committal service, or in teh case of a crematorium service mourners will then be taken to where the floral tributes have been placed before.
4. Committal service. This service is not necessary, however, it is traditional for one to take place after the ceremony. The committal service is a chance for the family to say their final goodbyes, where further readings or poems can be spoken. If a burial is chosen the committal would be the part in which the family can scatter soil or flowers onto the coffin as it is lowered into the ground. If cremation is chosen, this will take place  inside the crematorium where generally the curtains are closed.
5. The wake. Traditionally, a wake is held after the funeral ceremony as a chance for friends and family of the deceased to gather and celebrate the life of the deceased. People who have not attended the funeral may also be welcomed to this part of the day. It is typically held at a local venue, a list of which can be provided by your funeral director. The family will be escorted from the ceremony to the wake and will have a chance to speak with the funeral director with any further questions before they are left to gather with friends and family.

If you’re looking for further advice on what steps to take after a loss, head over to our what to do next page. Alternatively, if you’re searching for more in-depth information, we have a blog detailing the process of what to do when someone dies which can be helpful when navigating the next steps after a loved one has passed.

What is the traditional order of service for a funeral?

An order of service can look different for every funeral, depending on whether it is a religious ceremony, non-religious or a less formal end-of-life event. Most traditional funerals abide by a Christian ceremony order of service format which follows this structure:

1. Musical procession – hymns or music played as mourners and the deceased enter the venue
2. Introduction by the minister, priest or celebrant conducting the ceremony
3. Readings – often a bible passage, poem or heartfelt text 
4. Blessings and prayers which guests may join in 
5. Eulogy – a family member or friend close to the deceased will give a speech 
6. Committal – all guests say their goodbyes to the deceased before the curtains (generally) close at the crematorium or the congregation move on to the final resting place in relation to a burial
7. Closing hymns or music played as guests leave the venue

In the ceremony, there may also be a chance for mourners to make a personal speech or story about the deceased. 

Every order of service will vary depending on religious denomination, cultural background, personal preferences and the wishes made by the deceased before they passed. Therefore it’s important that whatever order of service you choose makes sense for you and your loved one. You may wish to include any personal pictures or memories of the deceased, or any heartfelt poems to personalise it.

How much does a traditional funeral cost?

The cost of a traditional funeral will vary depending on several factors, including where you live, the type of service you wish to have and the date and time it will take place. Depending on how comprehensive you or your loved one wish the funeral to be, will also largely determine the cost. The price of an attended or unattended service and burial or cremation can vary greatly, and the  mode of transport you choose, the types of flowers you pick and the type of coffin or casket, can all influence the overall cost. 

Typically speaking, for us the lowest cost traditional funeral starts at £3,735, however, this may vary depending on the choices you make. Here at Heart of England Co-Op Funerals, we have provided a helpful funeral cost calculator that can take you through each important funeral option and calculate an approximate price of how much it would cost if you used our services. Additionally, we have a detailed funeral price list brochure that breaks down the prices of different types of funerals, so you can get an accurate idea of what the overall cost may be.

If you’re looking for an easier way to handle the cost of a funeral, we have a pre-paid funeral plan option that can help to alleviate the stress of funeral costs. Pre-paid funerals are a great way to not only give you control over your end-of-life celebration but it can also help to give peace of mind to your loved ones when the time comes. Our pre-paid plans help to protect against price inflation and offer the option for your loved ones to add on any extra services and requests if they wish to.

All of our pre-paid plans allow you to create a fully unique funeral that covers the cost of the funeral director’s charges, care of the deceased, the full ceremony and any third-party charges so you can rest assured that your loved ones can take this time to grieve without the added stress of arranging a funeral.

What is the British tradition when someone dies?  

Dealing with the death of a loved one is overwhelming, especially if you have never experienced a loss before. Therefore, you may find yourself wondering what the correct etiquette is when it comes to the traditional way to pay your respects and commemorate the loss of a loved one. Here in the UK, there are a few key British traditions that are the same across most funerals.

Black clothing

Traditionally the first people to dress in black at a funeral were the Tudors, in which mourners wore black as a way to differentiate themselves from onlookers. This tradition still stands strong today, with the dress code for most British funerals being formal wear in all black or dark colours. However, it is not unusual for some to wear the deceased’s favourite colour or have a brightly coloured theme for a funeral as a way to celebrate their life.

Funeral procession

Traditionally, the funeral procession would have been led by a horse and cart cortege, however in modern-day Britain, although this is still an option, most funeral processions are now led by a motorised hearse carrying the coffin. Typically, when passers-by see a funeral procession they will often stop and pay their respects and any cars driving past a procession will slow down to also show their respect for the deceased.

The wake

Traditionally, the wake was the time when loved ones would sit with the body at home, where mourners could come to pay their respects and say goodbye. However now, the wake is held after the funeral, either at a local pub, function room, hotel or a family member’s home. The wake is used as a time for family and friends of the deceased to get together and celebrate the deceaseds life, share memories and grieve together after the service. 

What are traditional funeral flowers?

Every element of a funeral is used as a way to say something personal about your lost loved one, and flowers are a simple and beautiful way to do this. Funeral flowers traditionally have a practical use as they were used, alongside candles, to mask unpleasant smells during a wake. However, in the modern day, this is no longer necessary, but flowers have continued to be used as a mark of love and respect. White lilies, red roses remain some of the most popular flower choices among families, however, personalised floral displays made up of many different blooms are used as a beautiful display to remember someone we love.

Floral arrangements are a key part of a traditional funeral service and most blooms have significant meaning behind them that can represent your loved one. Some may pick floral arrangements based on the favourite flowers or colours of the deceased or arrangements may have been previously chosen in a funeral plan. A few of the most popular funeral flower choices are as follows. 

Lilies

Lilies are the most commonly used traditional funeral flower. They are a powerful symbol of the spirit of a loved one that can give hope to those grieving. A white lily is the most popular choice as it is said to represent purity, innocence and peace.

Carnations

Carnations are fragrant flowers that are a popular choice for funerals due to their long-lasting nature. White carnations are said to represent purity and innocence with pink carnations signalling thoughts of remembrance.

Roses

Roses have a universal meaning of love which makes them ideal as a funeral flower, however, the colour of the rose you choose can represent different things. Red roses represent love and respect, pink roses express grace and gratitude and white roses are used to represent purity and innocence.

Chrysanthemums

The chrysanthemum or ‘mum’ as it is also commonly referred to, represents trust, friendship and loyalty, with white chrysanthemums in particular symbolising grief. Due to the abbreviation of this flower, ‘mums’ are a popular choice for funeral tributes for mothers.

Forget-me-nots

The forget-me-not flower is traditionally used in many funerals as it communicates a simple message that your loved one will not be forgotten and will live on in the hearts and memories of those they affected.

Commemorate a loved one with Heart of England Co-op Funerals

If you’re looking for support or guidance on arranging a funeral for a loved one, our funeral colleagues are here to help. We promise to help you create a unique and personalised goodbye that your loved one would be proud of. Whether you wish to talk through pre-paid plans or start the process of creating a tailor-made funeral plan, book an appointment today to speak to one of our friendly experts.