How to care for yourself during grief

Grief is a deeply personal journey that can come with many ups and downs, tending to yourself during this time is an important part of the healing process. Grief can feel overwhelming, and in the midst of it, you may find taking care of yourself unimportant or even impossible.

While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, it’s important to create healthy coping mechanisms and to be gentle with yourself. We’re here to remind you that it’s okay to put yourself first and to move at your own pace while you navigate grief. Below, you can find some small ways to take care of yourself while you’re grieving.

What to do when you’re struggling with grief

Be gentle with yourself

Grief can take a toll on your energy levels, and it’s important to recognise that you may not be running at full capacity for a while. You may find yourself unable to focus or struggling to perform tasks as well as you did before. This is normal, and it’s helpful to adjust your expectations of yourself during this time. Remind yourself that it’s okay to take things slower and that completing every task, no matter how small, is an achievement.

We recommend making a small and manageable to-do list each day. This can include anything from brushing your teeth to making dinner or calling a loved one. Doing this can offer a sense of achievement and bring some normalcy to your day, even when nothing feels normal.

Spend time with others

Many people will give you space to process your grief, but if you’re struggling to be alone, try reaching out to your loved ones. Picking up the phone to call or text someone can feel daunting, but finding the courage to ask for company, whether it’s a short phone call to catch up or a quick text to arrange a meet-up for coffee. This will let your loved ones know that you need some company and can also help them better understand your needs during this difficult time.

Communicate your feelings and needs

There is no right or wrong way to react to grief; it’s okay to want to be alone, and it’s okay to want the company of others. Everyone has different needs, and it’s important you communicate your needs with those around you so they can best know how to give you their support.

We also recommend discussing your emotions with the people you love, whether it’s family or friends, as vocalising your grief can help you overcome it. This is also a good way to connect with those around you. If you find it too hard to communicate with others or are struggling to outwardly express your feelings at this stage, try journaling your feelings to help you work through your emotions.

Do something you enjoy

From booking yourself a hair appointment or a massage to taking the time to enjoy a hobby or watch your favourite movie, doing things that bring you joy plays a crucial role in your emotional well-being. Experiencing these moments of happiness can distract you from the grief and offer a small relief when things feel hard.

Listen to your body

If you need to cry, then cry; if you’re tired, then sleep; if you’re hungry, eat something. Your body will let you know what it needs, and it’s good to cater to these needs as it will benefit your emotional well-being as well as your energy levels.

Pamper yourself

Something as simple as enjoying a coffee and your favourite sweet treat can offer a moment of peace during grief. Don’t forget that nurturing yourself is okay – essential, even. So, whether it’s with a bubble bath or a manicure, taking time to look after yourself is an important part of the healing process.

Make healthy choices

Grief can make it easy to neglect yourself and your needs; however, ensuring you’re eating and resting enough can help with daily functioning. It provides you with a bit more energy, and some even find stability in routine.

We recommend trying to keep up with an easy exercise routine if you can, even a short daily walk can help, as well as maintaining a healthy diet and a regular sleep schedule. If you find yourself struggling with these, you can visit your doctor for more support and advice.

Important things to remember while you’re grieving

While you’re looking after yourself during grief, there are a few things you should try to remember to help support the healing process. If you feel it will help, write them down and read them daily for small reminders to be kind to yourself during the hard times.

Grief doesn’t have a timeline – There is no set period for recovering from grief; it takes time, and it’s helpful to remember this so you don’t push yourself to feel better before you’re ready.

There are ups and downs – You may have a good day and feel bad again the next, remind yourself that this is normal. It can feel frustrating, but healing from grief isn’t a linear process.

It’s okay to put yourself first – You should never feel guilty or selfish for putting yourself first when you’re processing the loss of a loved one. You can only heal properly when you give yourself the time and nourishment to do so.

Discover more grief support with Heart of England

While there are many ways you can care for yourself during grief, you’re never alone. Whether it’s reaching out to a loved one or joining a bereavement support group, there are many people out there to help you navigate through the grieving process.

Here at Heart of England, we understand how important support is during times of grief. If you find yourself needing advice, our friendly team is always on hand to ensure you get all of the assistance you need.